Sometimes i question myself , do i need friends? Yes i do. For someone who's afraid of being left alone and gets bored easily i need friends ...lots of lots of friends... B4 this i also did some phychological test that indicated how important friendship is in my life. But becoz i'm some stubborn asshole i tend to lose some friends too in the process.. I can just simply ignore or boycott my friend by just giving in to hatred...lol Like how i lost my best friend in secondary school becoz of a tiny lil problem. becoz both of us a damn stubborn and won't give way to each other, then crisis arised... Thinking back on it it's just plain stupid...We have gone through a lot, troubles, joys, storms, hurricanes, whatever u name it... We both were excellent students in the best school back in my hometown , got good grades for our exams, argued, acted like stranger in the top college that we coincidentally entered, had our own seperate life, then drifted away ....

Ok cut the crap, friends are ppl who will stand by ur side at any circumstance, cherish you, cheer you up when you are down, weather the storm for u and most importantly let you copy their homeworks *as i'm a lazy ass who never do my homework*..... Due to this we tend to get attach to them become less independant as i'm now... but heck, you have friends , what are u afraid of lol....

So do you have any best friend? I currently don't after losing that friend back in secondary school.. Somehow it's very hard to find someone who knows you so deeply, understand ur feelings... etc.... And i do categorized my friends... good friends... n "dun get so close " friends... FAVOURISM as i mentioned in my previous post...

And i also sperate my friends into 3 groups:
1. back in my hometown
2. in college
3. online

The 3 groups of friends dunno each other as i never mentioned any of the 2 other groups to a particular group... So i have my own circle of friends back home, back in college, n online =D I also dunno why.. as yesterday night one of my online friends, R raised this question, that i never mentioned about my friends to her b4... lol and i told her that this is out of her concern... they will never meet also lol...

What make friends special , is that they will accept who you are... although giving some comment once in a while will not make any harm lol... But then who will expect you to change immediately after giving comments.. afterall human can't change their nature so easily lol
" i'm what i am, and if you can;t accept that , just get lost, or at least give me some time to review and think about it " lol ... That's the fun thing of having friends... But " friend" who can just change some characteristics after u have commented a bit on him/her is just too fake for me... It's just not "right" , as "one" dun need to actually give in becoz other ppl dislike it and in return the "one" will REMEMBER the incident for life...And do u consider making fun about ur friends becoz he/she took Windows XP for beginners and read it in the toilet as BETRAYAL? i dun... It's a bless that everyone can crack joke about each other and can get a good laugh out of it... It's just SHARING!!

My good friends are friends that i can talk freely to.. whatever.. i know they will listen to me.. but whether they give a damn to it or not, that i dun care..lol....and my "dun get so close " friends are just ppl that i know vaguely , hard to communicate n really get into my nerves most of the time... either they r just some loud mouth or whatever... And talking about my hometown friends.. i really seldom see them nowadays... and somehow i think since everyone has their own life, a great barrier has formed between me n them... Just not to say that , i'm a jerk back in secondary school also.. but friends r still friends lol... and my college friends? Most of them i meet almost 24/7.. coz we r living together... and therefore.. conflicts can rise easily... but give a lil bit of tolerence and everything will go smoothly...How about my online friends? Some are my friends that are living overseas... And due to the fact that we dun need to face each other i just talk whatever crap i want, i never give much thoughts into it whether it will hurt ppl or not... *then need to make phone calls to apologize * lol...*whoever laughed after reading this, it's you * lol.. And i have to give some credit to R, thx for being my good online friend.. Life will be very boring u know...

*sigh* i'm destined to annoyed ppl more than earning their respect.. so i expect no one will come to my funeral if i died .. lol... Life is life... friends are just part of our lives.. We meet new ppl and we consider them as our friends too.. but really true friends are hard to find... Other then the secondary school friends that i lost.. i too lost alot of "good good' friends... lol.. which i sometimes regret.. But then what to do.. i'm very egoistic... and u won;t see me apologizing easily... It takes a lot of courage to do so... And i dun have it... Just a piece of advice value ur friends.. lol.. And talking about it... How many TRUE friends do u all have?

posted by Angelus @ 1:02 AM