Monday, October 30, 2006

Time of peace

It's just blissful to lay down and rest all day long, while going online to check some of the web i normally haunt and listen to smooth going music that's permeating in the air... but this won;t last long.. will be departing back to junk hell tonight, n i'm reluctant to do so...

AND what's nice is u get the whole house for urself. with no one around nobody disturbing u... rays of sunbeam penetrate ur windows..and giving out myriads of reflection...

AND the humming of fan over ur head.. blowing the pages of the newspaper ( which i haave read n thrown on the table) the splashing sound from ur aquarium which houses ur goldfish....the chirping of birds ourside ur lawn...

And i just dun wanan go back

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Been to hell and back

Great, the 1st thing i get to do when i reached home is getting sick... this is the 4th day d.. think i will recover totally tomorrow.. duh...i'm lazy to seek medication from docs..

and i'm going to get my passport tomorrow... nothing to rejoice about also...

one funny thing that happened to me was that 2 diff ppl with 2 diff personalities from 2 diff places the 2 never met b4 asked me about this :

What do u think of smoking?

It was like a deja vu , lol

My answer is . . . I hate smokers

and the reaction :

Version 1:
i will tell my aunt , she will agree with u coz my uncle smokes a lot...

Version 2:
I dun like smokers too .. especially when some of my close friends r smokers too.. my dad smokes too

* those r not the exact words that they spoke out, but just some summary from me

So well, u got it.. smokers ... u r not welcomed in my life

Saturday, October 21, 2006

on the bus

oh yeah did i mention that the bus slided backwards, coz the driver reversed it and forgot to pull teh handbrake? hahaha it;s so funny that some might wet their pants. why?
coz no one was at the driver seat n it accelerated downhill.. the driver had to rushed up n jumped on the brake... duh

Silence

There is a difference between real silence and dorm silence. Perhaps I'm too sensitive, but I'm sensing that there is no real silence or peace in the dorm on a Saturday. Atmosphere is pretty stale and quiet and no one goes about doing much. Sometimes I just try to shake things up by doing something fun, but today, the atmosphere is definitely dead. There's just a really eerie silence in the dorm today. I hate it this way. That's one of the reasons I hate the dorm because everyone is just so indifferent and they don't really care about anything else least their sleep or their image and their popularity. It's quite hard sometimes when you can't find people who are really genuine and who are just around who are not motivated by anything other than making themselves happy. I believe that when you're happy, the atmosphere will be cheery because you'll do interesting things that will make yourself happy and your surrounding and the things you do will be pleasant. Don't try to fake happiness but try to make yourself happy. There is a difference and your intuition can distinguish that.

Friday, October 20, 2006

A long journey home

What do u have to say about this?

Ur bus at midnight back to ur home which is like 400km apart might come or might not come
U have no way to go back to ur hostel unless u wait until the morning
U only have rm10 in ur pocket
U left ur credit card home
Ur phone might or might die soon and u only have a few cents left
U dun have the contact number of ur aunt
Ur dad is gong to kill u went u reached home, cause of all the stuffs above.

Yeah... i 've done it again... another greatest "stunt" of my life... after the recent event when i bought the unlimited rm7 ticket n venture alone around kl.. PLUS took a stupid 45 minues journey from one end to another end of the putra lrt line.. tell me which idiot will do that...

So ok, the story started a few days b4 this incident n i was reading the news about all the north bound buses will be at at another station, but mine, the seller insisted that's at this station. so what the fuck, what can i do? *end of story*

on that day , after class i rushed here directly but with the rain and everything it wasn't doing me any good... so i went to the counter gain to confirm the ticket, and the person incharge defered me to anoter.. n somehow, a chinese guy at the counter took my ticket n viewed for a long time.. dunno who the heck,.. grabbed back my ticket n went to the other counter , which there were 2 indons who looked at me as if i'm retarded n not happily pointed to wait here.. wtf did i kill ur whole family?

since it wAS only 5, and i've nothing to do, so i walked all the way to times square which is another 15 mins away.. the moment i reached into the building i was soaking wet, coz of the sweat and the rain... and yeah i was carrying my baybeh wit me, my laptop..but gonna subtitute it for a better model next year..

bla guess what, i went into borders for 4 hours reading some of the marvel comics selection there.. i love big bookstore chain coz they provide browsing copy... and after i got bored, i went into teh starbucks at the corney, use rm 12 to buy some stupid green tea frapocino.. which basically left me with the last rm10 note... say... what can i do.. i was bored.. n the chance that i could get on my bus home keep playing around my head.... so i can online a while, at the meantime, looking for alternative , in case i'm really stucked in kl n have to zzz by the sidewalk...
V offered me his help.. which basically to call his number at 01x-6876768.. see his num.. he offered to drive me back to S.A. and not his house.. what the... it's like a 2 hours journey for him...

so eventually the starbucks in borders need to be closed at 10am.. so what i have to do is to pack myself and walk back to the station.. nah.. this time i didn;t walk coz it's too dark.. n u know kl is not that freaking safe at night.. so i took a 5 mins ride using the lrt ....

and yeah i have another 2 hours to midless wait for somethign that's might not happen.. and yeah pudu sux.. with all those fucking illegal immigrant... like one babaric indon.. hey i know how to recognize them n the malay... coz they got high cheekbones.. which gave them the babaric look... he smiled like an idiot and sat next to me like i'm his best pal.. and askign for $$ what the... htink i'm some retarde guy is it?then touching my pocket to look for my wallet.. if i helped u now... me myself will be in trouble also, ok? u freak.. n dun try to intimidate me by using it will be a loss by helping ppl.. my answer is YES!!! for god sake to help u...so i get lost from there.. THERE !! u can have my seat .happy???!!!

low eductaed ppl.. sigh.. then later when i come back.. there's only one person sitting there.. so i sat.. what the... she apologize coz she was booking it for her friend... OMG the fucking bench is so big... n only u 2 can sit? cibai ppl... low class.. why dun u go down the platform n let the bus ram over u... fucking bloody malaysian...

and basically that's all... the bus DID came.. the ticket wasn;t a fraud.. n i was saved
scaring only myself... But, But the journey is damn umpleasaat.. not becoz they provide me with a stinking old bus, i can live that...

except

an asshole indian who sat next to me... his arm occupied half of my seat... n his head kept dropping onto my shoulder.. hey i'm not gay ok... sigh.. some ppl.. u were lucky i wasn't not in the mood to slap u...

Thursday, October 19, 2006

FOOD - the culprit behind diseases, fatigue, insomnia and indigestion

It is true that a change in menu is sometimes good for the stomach. When your stomach gets the same food over and over again, your stomach might get irritated by the allergens which you're taking daily. The allergic reaction might get worse and sometimes unnoticed because you would have never suspected it from food since you keep taking the same food anyway. Food allergy can cause severe discomfort in the stomach, bloating and insomnia and retention of water. When it goes unremoved, certain food allergens like certain kinds of Fruits, wheat or even oily foods or dry food could cause severe stress to the stomach. The nerves in the stomach control certain reflexes like mood and sleep. So, if you're getting stressed up at the stomach, many psychological and physiological symptoms appear and you might be having aggression, depression or paranoia from the inability to sleep. Long term effects can be deterring to the physical and mental health because the body is not getting the food it needs due to indigestion and does not get enough rest because of body stress. So if you're having fatigue, a case of indigestion or stomach discomfort, and unable to sleep for a prolonged period, try looking at your diet besides looking for medication that can soothe the symptoms. Diet is the key and it can remove these symptoms forever and help you lead a healthier, balanced and wholesome lifestyle. Your mind and body will get better and all psychologial and physiological disorders would disappear.

Here's the link to a source: http://www.truestarhealth.com/members/archives.asp?content=14ml3p1a96

Estrogen balance helps maintain artery health in men

An Aneurysm is a weak, life-threatening bulge in the artery. It usually starts as a discomfort/pain at the lower abdominals, thoracs, brain or the lower legs and heart and kidneys. Aneurysm is caused by blood clotting and is mostly known as artherosclerosis. In year 2000 in the US, 11,000 people died from ruptured Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm and 80 percent are men. It has been found that a good balance of estrogen inhibits a protein (MMP-9) created by our macrophages which reduces the lining of our arteries by removing collagen and elastin (a natural healing response but lethal when left unchecked), leading to decreased chances of lower abdominal Aneurysms ruptures or artery ruptures.

Here's the link: http://www.umich.edu/~urecord/0405/Oct25_04/26.shtml

For decreased chances of Aneurysm ruptures, diet and exercise plays an important role. Avoid fatty foods.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

White hair panacea

I went on a search for an answer to why teenagers and children have white hair after realizing that this problem is increasingly prevalent in many people's life.

Stress causes your stress hormones to rise, and this in turn drains the fight/flight chemical in your brain. This is really bad but it has nothing much to do with white hair. It's just an addtional information for you, so if you want to stay sane, don't stress yourself. Everything is Fine. About the white hair dilema, I found out that a deficiency of B12 is the most common factor for white hair in younger people. B12 is not only used to keep the cells that creates the pigments alive, but it also affects your metabolic rate and system. So, if you're having more white hair, feeling tired, and possibly feeling out of breath, you should consider taking B12.

Also, B12 is also responsible for the manufacturing of new red blood cells. Anemic patients may have difficulty absorbing B12 or have a deficiency of B12. So, if you're having a problem with shortness of breath and a change in skin color (turning pale) you should also add folic acid to your B12 supplement. As it turns out, Iron is also an important component of blood, so you can add Iron into your supplementary diet as well.

From one of the latest research, I also found out that B12 also regulates the circadian sleep-wake 24 hour cycle. Mice that have been intravenously supplied with B12 are found to have a longer REM sleep cycle. This is good because REM helps your brain to store the things you have learnt into long term memory. And it is also found that a deficiency of B12 could also lead to irreversible brain damage because B12 is responsible for maintaing the myelin sheath in your nerve cells and to create better nerve connections. A study reveals that a lack of B12 could cause a schizophrenic or a dramatic change in personality.

That's some of the interesting research I have for now. Stay tuned!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

i sux big time

so here , who stand in front of u is the world greatest loser

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bla.. doing stupid stuffs..

guess where am i ... mph in midvalley.. paying a fucking rm 8 for some fucking 2 hours of internet.,. wtf... i'm done for it.. coz i never exactly read the disclaimer....

n yeah.. i won;t be going back to my hostel for a day... y? coz it's hell damn boring there...
so i'm gonna be damned also y? my friend used a lousy excuse " i wanna use teh internet" to tell her bro , so that i can stay at her house.. what the... teh greatest joke of teh century... damn sia sui...

i really need something to confine my addiction.. it's only around when it's almost time to go home.. n i still have to endure 4 days of bone crushing gmi

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Friday, October 13, 2006

Snow Rain

I just realized how beautiful my school is. Sometimes when you don't look, there are so many things you seem to over look. The shops are shining with colors and the beautiful neon lights accent the night sky. The weather here is also ridiculously beautiful although some may think the wind is pretty harsh. Weather, that's something you cannot change so basically you just have to live with the rythm of mother nature. In fact if you learn to live peacefully with nature, you will learn to accept and respect the weather as a natural phenomenon, something as natural as you are. There is a time for everything, and sometimes the weather changes accordingly to suit the environment. It rains when it gets too hot, it snows when it gets too cold. Snow is not bad at all because it is a good conductor of heat. It has just snowed yesterday and the sight of snow was just beautiful. The beautiful snow fell like beautiful felt from the skies and it blanketed trees and breezing away, drifting in the wind. Everything was just so perfect and beautiful and the trees and everything swayed to the way the weather and the rythm of the world and nature.

I don't see why humans have to resist nature. The weather is beautiful as it is. What's with talking about moving to a warmer place or avoiding the cold or warmth. Sometimes, we are never satisfied when everything is so perfect in front of us. Perfection and happiness is created in the mind, and you don't have to do any more to make things perfect than to perceive it as a natural beauty in your mind.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Nothing to say

I saw the santa rosa mobile chipset coming out next year, wow with wireless-n , 3 G modem and better performance.. what the.. see i have no regret waiting :p

so as usual, today have another half day class at gmi , so i can back so early.. duh... and V just bought a new laptop.. RM 5366... Not bad the specs.. :p the public transport in m'sia is better a bit since rapid kl change all the route,.. but somehow it's kinda troublesome when u wanna go form one area to another.so there r more spaces to improve.

see V is rejoycing like a lil kid next to me:p n i'm using his laptop:p is it a sin? so still got 31 days of GMI.. n i will be back next week.. can't wait for me to online as usual is it? hahah

but i can still survive without internet , as what my roommate said i'm bored with internet d.. see me everyday online dunno do what.. me myself aslo dunno :p so Mel.. have fun writing.. u wrote a lot d... hahah chao...

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Documenting your life

I am reading the seven secrets to yoga right now, and one of the most interesting thing I've read about self improvement and forging your own destiny is to document your life. By documenting your life you will be able to see where you are going and you will be able to plan on reaching the goal. It also gives you pride about the way you have handeled life and how far you've taken down the road to happiness. It will lead to further self development and self satisfaction and by doing that you will also see the unity of your life as a whole rather than just at a single person viewpoint.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Life is a puzzle

Life is such a puzzle. It takes the right pieces to make things right. When the piece of the puzzle just doesn't fit, no matter what you do to make it fit, it will still look out of place. I feel like life has been a constant lesson to me, to teach me the things that are right and to lead me from things that are wrong. I agree I haven't been much of myself lately and I really attribute that to fitting the wrong piece in the puzzle. It does take some time to figure things out sometimes. And sometimes, you just need some help to make things right.

I also learned a lesson last night with my friends. It doesn't help to worry, but it helps to let go and forget the past. The past is just like the wrong piece in the puzzle, so all you have to do is to get the right piece, fix it and forget about the ugliness the puzzle presented you in the past. You can certainly remember it but don't hang on to it. You can't change somethings in life but you can change the way you look at things. Don't bother too much about the things that are wrong but rather look at the brighter side of life.

Life is also a constant growth to me. From life lessons, you learn to get things right, not to repeat the right mistakes and to treasure the people who really care. I just realized that I can't care too much about strangers or people that I barely know. Sometimes, it takes caution to make friends and to only keep friends who are caring and nice. After all, what is a friend?

I have never been choosy, nor have I been cautious in most of my bearings. Life was like heaven to me, a place that is so safe and pure. I have ignored the other side of life - the other side where there are much disagreements, treatchery and unexpected happenings - just as much as living life and dening death. The darker side of life is sometimes not all too bad. It provides me with a lesson to move on and to be more cautious so I can avoid the loopholes in life. To me, all that really counts now is the present and the people that truly care. I will try to be more of a human than I am a saint and I shall no longer deny death as death is the starting of life. (Don't worry, this is just a metaphor). The death of the past is necessary for a breath of new life and progression.

p/s: Thanks for the email. =)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

It's hard to erase history

Have you ever thought of forgetting the past wishing all together that all the unhappiness it has caused you and the people involved will cease to exist. Ever wished you never had a connection with someone else and have never gotten involved in something at the first place? I have never really faced such a huge problem before but right now, I do. Sometimes I just find it hard to erase history and even if I have already forgotten about it, the situations around me just won't let me do that. I hate that especially.

What does it take for the things that remind you about the past to disappear. What does it take for the people who are involved to forget you and everything that they've done with you altogether. The past lingers and it affects the present. Karma is making connections and when you take the wrong step and make the wrong connections, it haunts you everyday for the rest of your life.

Karma is not all about doing something evil and getting reborn in a lower realm. Karma is more about your actions and its consequences. Although some actions may seem trivial, casual and not so important like just wanting to help someone out, it might turn out to be something else totally under the misguided intrepretation of the person who received your help.

Right now, I just totally want to forget the past, and I hope that I could turn back time and erase the part of my life that just doesn't make sense till this day. What have I possibly done and why haven't I been more careful while making friends? Good friends will help you and nurture you through the rest of your life, but bad friends, like bad eggs will give you diahorrea whenever you encounter them.

Friends.. why are they so complicated. Why is my life so complicated. I wished I had an answer, but I wished things would be much simpler.

I need grounding

I find it hard to sit still these days and my thoughts are random and funny. And I also found out that my sleep is getting shorter and more disturbed. I never used to wake up at night to erm.. pee.. but I do now. Could be the cold weather, and it could also be caused by an unbalanced diet.

Hyperactivity is a problem. Too little is not good, too much is definitely not good. Imagine what caffine would do to me. Lol.. and no i don't take coffee or tea anymore. Right now, I'll just breathe and nothing else is important but breathing. Pehaps that would help.

Just some random thoughts.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Drowning

I dunno y ppl like to flood me with their emotions and probs.. i know i look carefree and so on.. but their probs r slowing drowning me making me suffocating...

It's not hard to be a listener but the main regret i have is , i just do not fit in at all.. all i can say is yes, ah-ha hmm.. and no.. coz y.. i have to take a cautious step so that it won't cloud the situation anymore.. just like a few days ago, i recieve a call from a parent , n guess what ilistened to her raning for 30 mins.. my god.. i'm so good at this.. y? they choose me? coz i look like a goodie 2 shoes? bla....

but then... dun worry.. i will still alwasy be there to listen// but u should ask other ppl whether i could produce a good solution.. coz i will always joke about it, right in front of ur face :p

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German

It's strange how you take a path, then you divert from it and you come back to the same path? This is my story...

After getting my SPM examination results which I did quite well for, I applied for a scholarship to the UK for Engineering. But due to some special interests of the government and the limited number of scholarships to the UK, I was offered the second best option for an Education in Europe which is Germany. I felt then, it would be horrible to learn another language especially German because I have never done German before. Right then, I only knew a few Asian languages besides English of course. So, I thought real hard and decided to appeal for a transfer to an English speaking country like the United States.

A week upon appeal, my appeal was approved. I was rather surprised because it has never been approved that easily and at such a short period of time. So, now i'm here in the States. No matter how enticing a country would be, like the States, there are more things out of the country that interest me. One of such is Germany. After getting the transfer and going through the entire program, I felt like I have missed a good opportunity to learn an intellectual and interesting language and the German culture. Also, Germany is also one of the top countries in Engineering and I hope to get an internship there for the summer to work. It would be a most interesting experience because I've always been in love with Europe.

So, back to the story, once I entered the United States program I began to see how the culture and country would not fit my interest, especially when it comes to the world of glamour, fashion, hollywood, hard-bitten politics, and the confusion, business and youth and cultural corruption there is in the states. The more I thought of it, the more horrified I got because of the many movies that I've watched that reminded me of the wild culture in the States. Sure enough this is what you get here and everyone behaves like heaven is theirs, which as a more conservative person, I am uncomfortable with.

As an individual I tend to be very respectful of people, their opinion and my own. I will not blatantly argue with you for the sake of winning an arguement or to show you that I am superior. And neither will I flash my credentials in front of your face and promote myself. But unfortunately this is what happens here, a dog-eat-dog world. The person who talks the most, has the most social contact, most qualification (although having a small brain) leads it all. So, after seeing all this going around, I realized that this is not the culture I want to learn, or experience. Who cares about glamour? Who cares about democracy (look what's happening now)? I don't care.

Well anyway, that's why I have decided to learn more world culture while I'm here since America is made of a mix of people from different nationalities. I learned more about the Vietnamese when I'm here and I even stayed with them once and I came to understand that some of them are Chinese. I learned more about the Germans here. I met a German once and she was outspoken, frank but not blatantly rude. I also learned something about the Greeks from a friend who is half Greek (not the kind of Fraternity or Sorority Greek - A Real Greek). And that's why my heart is going back to Europe, the land that first captivated my heart. And that's also the reason I'm taking German classes. I just hope that I'm better at dividing my time for homework because things are just so super fast here. I cannot but wonder how the Americans cope with their lives. Are they automated? Just a thought and please don't get offended if you're an American. I really think highly of your work culture and your diligence.

So upon my first lesson of German I fell in love with the language, the teacher and the events. Tuesday we have German movie gatherings and on Wednesday we have Kaffestunde or something like that (which means coffee time). I'm still perfecting my spelling. So I really believe that the grass is not always greener at the other side, and if you're meant to learn something in my case a culture or a language or just to get to know some people, you will eventually cross path again. I'm crossing my fingers for an opportunity to Germany and hopefully I'll find an internship.

It's homework time. I'll see you tomorrow night :)

Something that i've been ignoring

wonder how stupid we are, when just a lil kiddy story can reflect how small we are... think u guys have read about this story , about an old man, a boy and a donkey... but i would like to repeat it again, cannot is it? just wanna make this whole post longer


An old man n a child bought a donkey one day.. n along the way... a person said that they were stupid for not riding on the donkey.. so the old man let the child rode on it... then another guy said the child was rude for not letting the old man to ride on it... so they switched position. the child on the feet and the old man on the donkey. When they reached another place, a local told them to ride on teh donkey together.. so they did... then they walked again until another place where another man condemned them for being cruel by treating the animal like that.. so they went down and carrie the donkey instead.. While they r crossing a bridge the donkey gto beserk and l of them fell into the river...

See it's a lame old tale.. but u know what's the conclusion that i read from th magazine?


u cannot expect everyone to praise u all the time.. and at the same time not everyone will condemn u all the time
so this is life.. n i dun expect everyone out there to like me... hahah screw YOU!!!

so another similiar story form my dad

like my father told me his experience just now... he works for the land office.. so one day... he wanna take some land from some ppl.. n they were angry... then a headmaster told him... u forced ppl out of their land n they cursed ur 18 generations... u know what my dad answered? if the gov dun take their land.. who's gonna build school for the children to study in....


so ... i think i'm not as wise as him.. damn low EQ.. that's my prob